CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

lets talk about grades

I am dyslexic not stupid.

I want this on a shirt to wear on finals.

I also want some way of taking a final where I can sit one on one with a professor and show them what I know verbally.

I often get caught up on words and making sure they say the same thing, rather htan the matieral itselfe. Isn't that annoying.

Im also going to go on a small rant about tests.

-clears throat-

I think there must be some other way to test students about the matieral being presented in the class. Writing on a sheet of paper says to me:
"What I learned in boating school"

-end-
I guess I am an adult now though. I say this because previously, when I was upset about grades and finals and what not. I would get uspet at the teacher. I now know they don't want to fail us. They don't want to make us feel stupid or inferrior. They want us to be successful, and to do well.
Many teachers don't have the training to do so. I wonder what I can do to change this for my kids.

alright time for adress teh reader:

what brought you to this blog? shoot me an email!
atorrey3@gmail.com

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

sorry blogers who now should think i dropped off the face of the earth. i haven't been posting much here...
this year though is almost done. or atleast it will be soon.

I recently watched a moving video about people like me.

people with dyslexia*
I watched their frustrations and their  struggles.

I didn't realize how alone I had felt in that moment. I didn't realize how hard I had tried to fit in with others. I didn't realize how very few people understood what Dyslexia actually is.

How little I actually knew about it.


But at that same moment I was able to realize there are LOTS of people out there. There are lots of people who struggle and have issues and have the same form of triumph that I do.

Reading out loud used to be so hard for me. I would often refuse to do so. Now I am reading out loud to myself and my nephew because I can.

I found people at the very same time that I realized I was alone.

This in itself is a very odd realization for me, I don't actually know those people. they don't know me from anyone else on this planet.

From a psychology prospective, i guess I did the greiving aspect of myself a long time ago. I just failed to think to find other people. I cried over so many school projects, so many reading assignments. and was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't think of others.

End rant

*You would think they would name a reading/spelling/comprehension disorder with an easier name to spell huh?

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

still in college.

Hello to the two people who have said Hi to me, and checked me out. thanks for taking the time to say hello! I'll try to post more later about school and whats going on. Im sorry that I ahve let this blog go!

Thursday, February 20, 2014

I am not 16 anymore.

I will be 20 this summer. I have some of the same thoughts on my learning disablity but much had changed, Im in college now, and I don't feel that I NEED my accomidations, rather I simply ask and the professors and they are willing to provide what I ask.I mangaged to get a C+ in stats, lowest gread yet, but I passed. I am still an awful speller. But I have gotten much better.I am resisting the urge to correct my spelling as I see the red line appearing. this is to just remind me that I still can't spell. sometimes its as simple as a typo, or mixing letter ups. see adding them where they shouldn't be. oh well. An additional thing I have realized that since going to college I am very willing to talk about my experiences, and some of the things I did while in school to make sure everything was done to make sure I was being understood. and that I understood. Well, I am off, I'm thinking to start this up again. It could be fun.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

just thought of something.

how namy people really do think like that? i mean it seems like everyone does.

but really.

it seems to me that from our school there really isnt that much bullying because people generally hold their tounges. but their minds are free to think whatever they want to think.

i really wish someone read this.
i would love to get feed back from anyone as to weather they think things like this.

for all of you who have ever said,
"he's must be stupid."
"what an idiot"
"she is in high school and cant read?"

or have ever done:
the slight laugh when someone stumbles.
looked at someone like they were an idiot when they asked you how to spell something


you know what.
you have no idea what it means to have a learning issue.maybe you do, and your pride doesn't allow you to embrace it, and you should know that students who have these things aren't stupid. they learn differently. do you know how embarassed some people get when they ask you how to spell something? so next time don't say anything. keep it to yourself.
because if you don't.
who is the real stupid one?

Friday, March 11, 2011

hey
it;'s me i haven't been on in ages.
but i am here. i am going to bring up an old issue.
you. you ms. 'music teacher'. you are a horrid woman. you have taught me more about people than i have ever planned to learn.
your favoritism is sickening.
but this isn't about you. this is about how things are going.

but i guess the musical is something i should touch on.
i am not stupid okay. i know things.
i can see and touch and understand things. so PLEASE, don't make me feel like a total idiot infront of my friends and stageworkers ( nice work huh? :D )

i am sorry you must be reading this thinking i am rambling about stuff ( which i am) i just can't seem to express that everyone the past few months seems to think i am either stupid or incompitant. i am going to prove them wrong. i really am.
because
i am dyslexic not stupid.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

i must be stupid. i don't get basic math. adding... ugg. subtracting...uggg. so yeah my grandpa must think i am stupid.

Friday, February 19, 2010

"Some people want it all. some people want everything.
but everything means nothing if i don't have you"

being a young woman. an old girl.

i have found to be seen as "very in love"
okay yeah. i am. i am very much in love with someone. i have been for almost 2 years.
and i guess i just wish that everyone could see him the same way i do. i don't see the flaws.
i see everything that i think i could ever need. in one person, and i know i know i shouldn't be thinking about getting older. but you as humans, tend to think "what if..."
'what if we DO live happily ever after?' 'what if you are the one i will spend forever with?'
yeah that is the very little girl thing to do. but still. i am still young. i am the die hard romantic.
and maybe things aren't perfect. i know they aren't. and maybe i just don't know what to write anymore. my thoughts aren't in the right order.

Monday, February 15, 2010

my story

this is the story i am going to submitt to someone i don't know. and hopefully they will like it.

I am Abby. I am 15 years old and in 10th grade. I am being told that I am dyslexic. Among many other titles at this point, we don't know. I may never know. So when people ask I just say that I am dyslexic with a few things added. My story starts in third grade. That was the first time I remember being treated differently than the other kids. Me and another girl would leave the class when the other kids wouldn’t be leaving. The teachers told us that everyone had to leave at some point but today was just our turn. They never had their turn. It was always the two of us; we would walk down this long hall, and walk into this room filled with all sorts of things to do. We mostly played games. And this helper teacher (that is what our normal teacher would call her) would always tell us these games would be “fun” but really they weren’t. They were all about letters and the sounds they make. And when we add them together they make words. I never understood them. I just did what I was told. And I guess the teachers thought I would understand. For the next three years things would get harder. I learned to love reading a year later in forth grade. Then we worked on writing, something I am still not very good at as a sophomore in high school. I have problems organizing what my thoughts are out on paper. This was also the year I started talking to my teachers about what worked for my learning style. I myself knew what worked for me and what didn’t. I knew that having a teacher just talk didn’t work at all. And taking notes was out of the question. I knew I needed to be involved in the lesson hands on. Or I needed to be teaching it. But I didn’t know that anything could be done about it. I didn’t know that I was a different learner. I didn’t know what was wrong with me I didn’t know that not everyone saw the world as I did. No one really knew what was wrong with me. One day in 6th grade I needed to write a book report. And had no idea what to do, and so I just wrote and wrote and thought I was doing a great job and then my mom read it. And said that I didn’t write it in the right way, so I tried again frustrated, the way I thought she said to write it, but mixed the order up. And had to do it again, at this point I was in tears. I had no idea what she was talking about, and I didn’t even know what the book was about! I hated myself for being so stupid that I didn’t know anything. After I had calmed down my mom asked me to explain the book. (It was so happened she had read the book too) I started to explain it, and once I had finished my mom said that the two versions didn’t match up. My idea and her idea were two different books! My mom looked concerned and said she would talk to my teacher. I didn’t think about anything like that until my transition meeting that June going into 7th grade and how we can make it as easy for me to switch as possible. At that meeting I asked a question that had plaguing my mind for years. “what is wrong with me” I remember not getting a straight answer. And hearing “there is nothing wrong with you, you are just different” I wanted to tell them “but there is. I don’t know most things other kids do. Need different math sheets, I need a teacher to help me write a paper when the other kids can just write one.” I just want to have a straight answer. I wouldn’t get one until the end of ninth grade. I had a master plan for the first day of seventh grade. Don’t let on that you have something wrong with you until you have a solid friendship going. That worked until I tried to open my locker. I couldn’t get the numbers in the right order, so it wouldn’t open, I freaked out at the metal thing and condemned it forever. Yeah that was a great start. Over all seventh grade was good for me. I made friends. And they accepted me for my weird tendencies or not being able to spell, and not understanding some things. But over the summer most of that was gone. I lost all but one. And we didn’t talk that much anyway. But I was learning to compensate for things I couldn’t do. an example would be if I couldn’t spell something, I would find another word to put in it’s place, so over time my vocabulary increased, and for math well calculators are something that just make things so much easier. As for writing I still most times need someone to sit down and talk me though an essay. As for my ninth grade year, this was the year I could finally say I was in a relationship. I was comfortable. Because we are the same type of person, no one knows what was wrong with us, I had met him last year and we became friends. And well the rest is history there. As for my friends, I only have kept one solid friend who knows the good the bad and the ugly about me and my struggles. And she was the first to know when I started testing to see what was wrong with me to find the answer as to why I am not normal. In the short time before this I had just been learning to accept me for who I am. And all my faults, but it was being coming increasingly difficult when friends were saying they couldn’t handle me and all my little faults. I just “wasn’t manageable” these things that have been said can really hurt some ones self image. But in the end they made me stronger. Those days weren’t all they should have been for me. Yet this left me more time to work on my new relationship, and how to read a book and get all the information out of the book and stop just guessing as to what the author is saying. One day I was told I was going to be retested. I am thinking the whole time “Retested…what in the world are you looking for that you couldn’t find last time!?” I couldn’t the last time I was tested. So I guess it was time to update. One test I remember very well is one where the person who did the testing would read a string of numbers and I had to repeat them back to her, backwards. That test was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I couldn’t remember the numbers in the right order anyway but backward! That is crazy. I failed that test by the way. And there were other tests such as ones where you had to fill in the missing word in the sentence, or spell the word spoken to you. Or define the word given in the sentence. Once the test results came back it showed I had definitely learned to compensate for what I couldn’t do. and the tested showed in writing had an amazing vocabulary. But my number, basic math and organization skills were at extremely low points. In other words I had really high test scores in some areas, and really low in others. This is the day I was told that if anyone asks you are dyslexic. My mom said she has had the feeling that is what I had since third grade, but the school wouldn’t perform the test. From that day on I have been telling everyone that I am. But the school is now saying that I am not. And how I shouldn’t be on an education plan, how I should be treated like a normal kids because they have no real proof that I am dyslexic. We asked the school to test me specifically for being dyslexic. They said they would do the testing at the start of my tenth grade year. I am almost done with tenth grade. And have no answer. But I have an answer for myself. I have found that there is nothing wrong with me. There really isn’t. I am just unique. It took me seven years to figure that out, it took three circles of friends for me to realize who my real friends are. Many long conversations with my mom and just as many tears to help make school, a normally horrid experience. Something that is fun, and something I can manage. I have found friends that support me when things get hard, but don’t petty me. They have problems of their own. Actually, most of my friends are undiagnosed cases; they are just trying to belong in this crazy world of high school, and together we can. Someday I hope they can know what is different about them because not knowing where to get support, where to look for help, where you can belong is the most horrid feeling in the world.so please don't feel sorry for me. I have found my way. I well it was an adventure

Well that is my story.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67_b7dG2pZU

dearest readers.

this is a video that was sent to me. (look up, it is the subject) and i suggest quite strongly that you look at it. it will change your your view on disablities. hopefully for the better. because you can't tell all the time who isn't "normal" or who qualifies for a a disablity. so think before you speak,

i know. this blog is pretty much me ranting about how no one can except me for who i am. because i have this that and the other thing. but really. maybe i do complain a lot. but being a teenager isn't easy. try having people call you a retard. people IN YOUR FAMILY. call you a retard. yeah that hurts. there arne't any good points to this. i mean there are. but there aren't all at the same time. maybe it is just me but knowing that people are dealing with the same thing i am gives me a feeling of unity. i love that. yes i have friends and i love them with all my heart. and i say this in the nicest way. but just like i don't know what it is like to be you. you haev no idea what it is like to be me. this goes for everyone! so go ahead judge me. i dare you. because i know you couldn't handle living in my shoes on a bad day. and on a good day i bet you couldn't handle it either, so. watch the video. learn and don't judge.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

almost done.

almost done.
school is just about half way over.
almost done with the numbers, the changes, the music,
almost done. just gotta' get by.
with a little help with my frirends.
here goes nothing.

things have been good and level and easy. no majior mess ups for a while.
wait. never mind. just messed up. no one is perefect. no one can do it all right?
i guess things just ge bad when i get nervous when talking to someone online, or when i try to explain my condtion to people.
that is really hard, because most people don't get it. so i don't try so much.
gueee i don't want to seem like i am complaining. but there isn't too much great about this. i am a normal person though. i do understand english, i can write, i can read, sometimes i get a little confused, but i can do it. everyone gets confused. i am dyslexic. not stupid. don't judge.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Everything

I am way risking everything here folks. i am starting a group with my twin. and it is a music group. it was inspired by the show Glee. (best show ever) and i am writing a song. it could be called a ballad i guess. i am very passionate about what i wrote about. it is about showing everyone i can do this. i can do the things i was told i could never do. i could lose a lot here. and really that is because, well i am not that good at this. i am really going off of a book and winging this. i am not sure how this is going to end. i am way unsure as to how this will play off, or how this is going to sound. or if anyone would be willing to sing it! ha. i will (As of right now) never right piano music. i wrote an acepealla number. (a song without music playing in the background.) and it is good, seeing as it is my first number in general. so really. this whole bog is trying to prove everyone wrong. and in a way i am. i should be able to write mildly orangized works of writing but i am trying so hard to keep it foucused. like you have no idea how hard this is for me. but i can do. because i sorta' like to prove people wrong.. when it comes to showing myself i can do this. which is also part of the song. oh you may want to know the lyrics yes?

the song is called Yes
This is my last chance to to something, to show the world who i am. i am someone who can do anything, no matter what im told. and you what?
Yes, i can
Yes, i will
i can do anything at all.
here i go unknowing unsure, weather i will hit the floor.But i've gotta' show the world that i will do anything everything to prove them wrong. by saying
Yes, i can
Yes, i will
i can do anything at all
i need to prove to them, to prove to myself that i can do anything i set my mind to. i can do anything at all. anything at all. anything at all.

so that is it.. i hope you like it. but if you don't then you can be part of "them" because i am going to prove to you. that I CAN do this.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

today was a good day : )

i found some amazing stories about people with dyslexica. i am very amazed. and very glad that i was daignosed. even if it was late on in my life. thank you so much. and keep trying

Saturday, November 21, 2009

have you ever had a good day?

have you ever had one of those days that just works out? one of those days that everything just worked?
well the other day wasn't that day : (

So yeah i couldn't say anything the way i wanted, and well my typeing was really off. and all that jazz. someone please tell me if this has happend to you. because my mom tells me because i am excited for something. but there was nothing to be excited about. and i wasn't typing really fast.
i just cried. that is how i fixed it. i know very lame and girly but what else can you do? nothing you say is coming out right, meaning that i would mix sounds and letters up to make different words.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

people can be so cool

people can be so cool and so understanding!

i signed up for this e-pal website thing. and i told my new friend flat out that i am not the greatest speller. and that i was dyslexic. her response was that is fine. i am not the greatest speller either. i guess we will be fine. i was so excited!

i am glad people around the world are understanding. people here.. not so much.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

they lost my reading class.

they lost my reading class.
this is a class to help me understand the reading material for history and science. this class was going to be a one on one thing, one me. and one teacher. this was going to be 3rd period every other day. well they lost it. i don't have that class any more. and really wanted to take this class so i can do more for it, i'll be able to really solidly know what is going on in that class. and without this class i am thinking this year is going to suck.
speaking of school, it sucks too. i am sure this is the one thing my whole grade can agree on. isn't that great? yeah not even alittle.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

today:

i am going to take today by the start and not let it take charge of me. i hope. =/
i love going shopping i really do. and i am going with my aunt today. but when ever i go to pay for things i get flustered. and then i drop my wallet and then screw up the number and insted of like "62.50" i give them "26.05" which they don't like and i feel like a three year old again. infact paying for everything bothers me. and at the movies. some woman was like you gave me a 20 dollar bill i only needed ten how much was that. and of corse colin was right behind me. (my boyfriend for those who don't know) and i blanked. she should know. i just looked at her thinking "why in the world she was asking me?" she obiously got that i wasn't going to tell her. and then just went on giving me my change. well yeah i hate people that do that. so i am going to go and have a good day and not worry about anything.. i think. X0

Friday, August 21, 2009

school comes around again.

yay? yeah i know everyone hates the start of school. but really is a pain! for anyone. well i really don't mind much except the fact that i have to learn a new locker combo this year. that is the only real thing that buggs me. and the fact that at my whole experence at hampshire i have never not once had a good day. not once. so this year i am not expecting much other than a crappy bad day that will end with tears. and most of it because of that stupid locker. or when ever you ask a teacher "where is this classroom?" they give you a number! who the hell memorizes these numbers!? not me. last year they gave me a number and it was very close in number sequence to the room down the hall.. guess which classroom i went to. yeah the wrong one, the one down the hall. so can they give you the directions? really that wouldn't help much anyway. but whatever. just remember when you see that middle schooler in the hall. always give them directions not classroom numbers, (for the four students who memorize the freakin' numbers?!) for all you know they could be dyslexic too. and that could ruin the first day at a really cool school.